Once A Whore, You’re Nothing More

Today: "Why are some people more popular than others? It is partially because they are respectful of their companions. If we are nice, others find it much harder to be nasty to us. And if we are generous, we discourage selfishness. Of course, it doesn't work without fail. But there is another benefit to manifesting charm and goodwill. When you do it, you feel better about yourself. Don't overreact to anger or irritability. Don't find fault, either. Look for something to praise today, and people will then find they can see more to praise in you. Be ready to grasp the opportunities that are surely coming your way in 2010!"
Tomorrow: "Why should you care about someone who does not care about you? We can all be compassionate towards the people we love and we will be generous too, if we think that they would return the favour, should we ever need them to. But what if you knew that if you were to get into trouble, someone would just shrug their shoulders and ignore your predicament? You would need to have the spirit of a saint before you felt sympathy towards such a person. Maybe you are more saintly than you realise. Be kind wherever you can today."
I don't even know where to begin telling you what these last few months have been like. It has been so hard, and I am becoming quite grievously tired of hard. Life was not supposed to be like this, warring people at every turn. Sometimes I wonder if I'm doing the right thing- fight or flight. I know sometimes love is not enough. Sometimes people get to make that one life- changing mistake that they must lay with in the bed they made for the rest of their bitter lives. I don't fucking know what is right anymore. My world is literally upside down. I'm lost again and I can't see a way out.
John was laid off in September. He has thus far been unable to find suitable work that will make getting by at all possible, though recently we found a lead that we will be looking into. Todd and Brandy unexpectedly requested a rental agreement from us for $700 a month. I'm not insinuating that they have no right to ask for it, as it is their home and their property to sublet. However, that was something we knew we were not going to be able to afford, and we asked them to guarantee us that they would not seek it before I quit my job in Nanaimo to work in Victoria. They went back on that guarantee, and we could not dispute it. Their request of us to pay this rent monthly, starting January first, was Todd's way of bringing income into the house, since Brandy has not done much to secure work for herself. To her credit, she has been collecting EI, but I also rarely ever saw her leave the house. I have had to quit my job, with no other prospects, and move back to Nanaimo with no choice or say in the matter, which may have completely screwed me out of EI. Needless to say, despite our friendship, they royally screwed us over.
Not long after I placed my resignation with Jo-Ann, on boxing day, no less, some careless bitch ran into me like a football linebacker at my bus stop after a particularly stressful 10 hour shift, sending my $600 iPod flying 5 feet, where it landed on concrete. The hard drive shattered. Running, she took one look at it behind her and booted it onto her bus. I barely had time to see the back of her head before she was gone. I am having a truly shitty time. Having the emotional and mental fortitude to stick this all out when I know that money is running out and the passage of time pushes things further towards the precipitous edge of the ability to bear it (and survive it) has been an increasing difficulty that I am truly unsure of. I don't know how I continue to make it through. Often I just do not feel like I have it.

But I am a fighter. The notion of letting even one more person win over me turns my stomach and fills me with unrelenting rage. People have, in succession, taken from me all but my life. Enough is enough. It is time to deliver some poetic justice, some beautiful, miraculous revenge that burns it's victim into a dust. Deanne has bitten off way more than she can chew. I will bury her. It is now my sole mission in life to ruin hers.

I know what you're thinking. You don't want to see me stoop to her level in order to win. But I have played nice. I have been the doting, silent sidekick in all of this while she has stalked me on Facebook, printed out photos of me off the Internet, publicly accused me of being a homosexual, referred to me as being a slut, whore, prostitute and slapper. But today she took it upon herself to name me in a court case between herself and John to the point of having the judge inquire about my income. I have it under the authority of my lawyer that my income is untouchable. She can try and whine and serve all of the papers in the world she wants to and my money will never so much as pass by her in transaction. I now have to seek a lawyer (though God knows how I am going to pay for one) in order to protect myself. The last nail in the coffin was having her tell me to my face that she cannot refer to me by name, because I am not worthy of being considered a person, and a stranger in the street will always be more of a person to her than I am.
She swears up and down that this is not about losing John. I know better. She went through the trouble of hunting down an inappropriate photo of him he sent many years ago to hand him in court today in my presence. That wasn't an intentional dig? Please, Miss Manipulator. I can see your games a mile away. Attacking him didn't work. Trying to seduce him didn't work. Now the only thing you can do to try to win is instigate fights? Please. You may have had an inappropriate photo of him to keep you company at night for all the years you weren't getting any from ANYONE, but it was also a picture that more than one or two women have seen, and when he was with you he was in casual relationships with at least two other women with whom he was also sleeping. He's always been faithful to me. Keep your precious homemade porno. I get the genuine article. She mentions how he left her for me at every available opportunity (which is an outright lie) when it has no relevance to the court case whatsoever. And suddenly her claim of John being in arrears went from $360 to $1000 in two months, when he has never missed a payment. The woman is a raging lunatic who needs to be taught a lesson.
If her attacks of us continue, once we are employed, we will be seeking full custody with supervision, and we will require that Deanne incur the full expense of travel. That bitch fucked with the wrong woman. I plan to make her life a living hell. If anyone knows a cut-throat, bloodsucking fiend of a lawyer who does pro-bono work, you know my number.

K.M.

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~ by Kд§$ị (ИovΔ) on 01/06/2010.

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