I’ve Got A Bad Feeling, Trust Me On This One, You’re Gonna Throw It All Away With No Hesitation

Wednesday: I spoke, yesterday, about a natural law of balance. To have too much of one thing is to have not enough of another. It’s true at a psychological level (if you have too much enthusiasm, you are likely to lack caution) and the same rules apply in the material world. Many folk with too much time on their hands find themselves short of money and vice versa. If you are ‘lucky’ enough to have too much money and time, the shortfall may be even more dramatic and insidious in terms of love, wit or wisdom. You now need to make an adjustment.
Ahh, how these nights keep me awake. How I look back; how I fear; how my temperment is tested, and explored. How I evolve and adapt, and rebel all in one fell swoop. Karma, ladies and gentlemen. It makes my world go ’round. I frimly believe that I will reap what I sow, and so will everyone else. I’m a pragmatist, and an optimist, and occasionally those two things together make me look like a pessimist, but only when I’m being a defeatist. Sometimes, someone will knock me down and I can’t find the will or the strength or the courage to pull myself back up. Sometimes my courage was all spent in standing tall the first time, only to have my feet knocked out from under me. Introduce the months of February through June. Maybe this gives you some insight into my psyche.
And then the photo. See, I’m not entirely innocent. I told an ugly, necessary lie or two, out of self-protection. But the first time (in April) that I called out the perpetrator and drew a line in the sand, I was accused of my absurdity. Strangely, another photo is what succinclty defines a firm timeline for me, as to when said evidence was created and sent. A fully clothed photo was taken in the same mirror, with the same items on her bed, and the same items on her floor, in the same arrangement. Something tells me they weren’t sitting there for two months. The date of the creation of said "innocent" photo was at the beginning of April.
I digress. These things are of the past, and despite inaccuracies, I am smart enough to deduce the truth for myself. The point is that I am a very intelligent person, more than anyone ever gives me credit for. I will dig to China and back for the truth. I don’t deal myself in many indefinites. I am quite sure of myself, and when I am not, I border on insanity. For some reason, my dreams are sending me a warning sign that is telling me to be on the defensive. I can’t help but feel like the wall is about to be breached. The war paint and armor is on, I’m waiting, and I will take no prisoners– only lives. I refuse to be solaced, or diffused in any way. My intuition is telling me that something is wrong.
…my spider sense is tingling.

~ by Kд§$ị (ИovΔ) on 08/19/2009.

2 Responses to “I’ve Got A Bad Feeling, Trust Me On This One, You’re Gonna Throw It All Away With No Hesitation”

  1. One of your comments above was particularly accurate: "These things are of the past…"Since that situation a few months ago, I’ve become a better person. If your spider sense is tingling, I’m happy to say it’s not because of me.

  2. well, maybe your spider sense was tingling because of me afterall. See my September 2nd blog.

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