The Urge To Feel Your Face, and Blood Rushing To Paint My Handprint

"Sometimes I’m bold and brash; and sometimes I’m prone to crash
Sometimes I say too much; and sometimes it’s not enough
But I’ll never hold you back from something you want so bad…"
 
Wednesday: "I know you are in a hurry and there is a lot that you need to get done, so I shall write this forecast as quickly as possible. If you then skim read it, you can get back to the rest of your day in no time. Look, see? We are about halfway through already. It is nearly over. It hasn’t yet, though, provided you much by way of a quality experience. But then, nor will life if you rush through it as if every second counts. Ease up, slow down. No matter what battle you must fight or problem you must conquer, you need to enjoy your life. Jupiter, Neptune and Chiron are now forming a rare, powerful triple conjunction."
 
I watch you sleep at night, your face calm, uneffected by the worries of the waking day. You body so tangled in the sheets, your breath rhythmic. The only interruption from you is the occasional snore– that as unflattering as it sounds– makes my heart expand. I love the sounds you make- the snoring in your sleep, the whimper you let out against my lips and against my neck, the growl you emit while tangling your fingers in my hair… there is a peace to knowing you’re beside me.
 
… I even find it funny when you fart. (Did someone step on a duck and then close a squeaky door?)
 
On Monday morning, as you showered, trying to rinse the soap from your eyes, you looked sad. You always look sad the day you leave. And I feel the sadness. I feel the distance stretch out between us for all of those days. Our lives together did not begin as we’d planned or hoped. We’ve had our downs. We’ve had our way, way downs. But maybe that was for the better. Maybe we learned something valuable. Maybe without that stumble, we’d never have made it. Some people have called it our warning sign. But without a burning beacon, how does one find their way through the dark and storm?
 
Sometimes I’m afraid, for lots of reasons. But you make me brave. Just promise me you’ll never get sick and tired of me. I have a fear of being replaced. Alternatively, never forget that for so long, you hoped for me. Take me for granted, and as the water of a stream, I will rush beyond.

On the back of the bike (riding bitch- heh), holding your warmth against me, charging into the night, not always sure where we’ll end up, I’ve almost never felt more freedom. I come alive.

 
K.M.
 
P.S. The song playing is amazing. Check out Imogen Heap’s new album "Ellipse" on August 25th. This song is what I want to walk down the aisle to.
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~ by Kд§$ị (ИovΔ) on 08/12/2009.

3 Responses to “The Urge To Feel Your Face, and Blood Rushing To Paint My Handprint”

  1. Both my heart… and my face, feel flushed from what you said. Really, who else needs to know how I fart. 😛 I think the only way you’ll ever feel more free is when you’re on a bike of your own riding beside me.I am glad I’ve finally found my equal.

  2. Well, you know, it added some color and character. The point was that I love the gross, strange and mundane things you do, too. ❤

  3. Excellent choice Kassi. I like the music. It sounds good. I think you should do it. Its your day and you should play it the way you feel it. And yes, you are well matched. Somehow I don’t think he will take you for granted. You are too much there, too much passionate, loving, craziness. You are unforgetable.

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