You Make Me So Hot, You Make Me Wanna Drop, You’re So Ridiculous

Thursday: "Imagine walking into a library with a dowsing rod in your hand. Instead of working through the reference index, looking for books, you could just hold out your arm and wait until the rod quivers. Apparently, there’s a new kind of barcode that will eventually allow us to do something rather like this! A search for information can throw up thousands of possible things to look at. But no technology can tell you which one to focus on. Instinct and intellect are not incompatible in your life now. You just need to get them working together."
 
Friday: "Do you know what you want? Or do you merely want what you know? The planets suggest a tendency, at the moment, to treasure tradition. You want to give priority to precedent. You feel far more inclined to trust the devil you are familiar with than the one you have only seen from afar. You know, though, so very little about that second devil that you cannot be sure it even IS a devil. It may well be an angel. Surely that’s a possibility worth exploring. Especially when you can see the first set of horns only too clearly!"
 
Sometimes I wonder if I lend the greater parts of my life to panic- if I am constantly seeking something to fear, or to find the hidden offender, when really, there is none and where there is none I force one into being. Right now, that is my perception of the remaining paranoia- a leech where there be not a one. Sometimes I wish I could wriggle inside the minds of others and hear their thoughts and feel their feelings- have the assurance of having been very much definitely in their shoes, to claim my safety beyond a doubt. My determination to achieve ultimate self-preservation leads me here, and without it, I have felt lost.
 
I’m in Victoria again. It’s always nice to get away from Nanaimo. It’s like visiting the tangent to my actual life. Sometimes, since I live with so many people, I dread going home, to the lack of privacy and the unbearable heat. I dread going home to the bone-breaking politics. Here, I have the free-roam that I have become accustomed to over the years. People here are fairly independant, but also love to come together and mutually enjoy the same things without it being a social gathering, per se. People here are rarely left out of things, and invitation is usually implied. It’s a lot more relaxed, and I sort-of love that everyone needs their time alone (or to themselves, at least) without having to literally be alone. We all enjoy community silence, from time to time.
 
I got asked for ID today at the liquor store. I wanted to try some of that Strawberry Woody’s 99 (it has no sugar in it), the lady carded me. I was surprised. Strange, but it happens to me more as I get older. Is that strange?
 
Day 7 of barf-fest 2009. I’ve been waking up with a nasty-stomach every day for about a week. I honestly believe that it’s the heat wave, though sometimes even the thought of eating some things makes it worse. Nothing to the end of funky smells, but I’m being cautious. If nausea is waking me up every morning, first thing in the morning, it never hurts to be cautious. Damn heat wave.
 
K.M.
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~ by Kд§$ị (ИovΔ) on 07/30/2009.

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