Even The Sturdiest Ground Can Shift And Tremble And Let Us Fall Down

Today: "Mercury, the ruler of your sign, has been slipping backwards through the sky for some while. Soon, it ‘stands still’. It is stopping in its tracks and now stands poised to forge ahead once more. All this is, of course, an optical illusion. In reality, the closest planet to the Sun has been hurtling along in the same direction the whole time. But then, this neatly echoes the way you have lately been seeing life from a somewhat distorted perspective. You feel as if you have been losing a battle, but all the time you have been winning the only fight that counts."
Friday: "You can’t stop the clock this weekend, but then, nor can the clock stop you. You may feel that you are up against an impossible deadline, but you will somehow magically turn out to have as much time as you need. Act, therefore, with the graceful decorum of someone who knows that though they may need to hurry, they don’t have to rush. Mercury, the ruler of your sign, will now stand still in the sky. You don’t have to wait for anything or anyone. You simply have to recognise what has secretly been waiting for you and make full use of it."


I’ve had a pretty good day so far. I got up shortly after John left for work this morning (which is an impressive improvement on the way I’ve been sleeping lately) and watched Zack & Miri Make A Porno. It’s actually pretty funny. As all Kevin Smith movies tend to be, it’s veiled as a movie full of crude humor and gratuitous sexuality and abundant swearing, but in the end it always manages to teach you a valuable lesson. I enjoy that about Kevin Smith films, that he always finds the humanizing aspect of something, takes something you wouldn’t think could be emotional, and finds the heart of it. It’s kind of awesome. But I saw the cast, and new without seeing it that it was going to be a film worth buying. It was. And thanks to Blockbuster, it was only $8.

I also went out for a little bit today and prepared for my poor-man birthday bash. I bought a 4-sack of Sminoff Ice and a 4-Pack of red bull. On my way home I wandered into Love Den, which is a sex shop here in Langford. I’m used to them, having lived in Greater Vancouver, they were always everywhere, and the curiosity was always there, too, so I’ve been in a few of them. At first, I was always really shy and skittish about being seen in one or talking to anyone about anything, but that totally goes away when you get older and you’ve become pretty comfortable with your sexuality. That and I was a sexual education counsellor for the Terrace Women’s Shelter, so frank discussions about sexual health and sex products weren’t unusual. The Source Adult in Nanaimo is actually quite nice, but Love Den is smaller, more intimate. They’re very friendly people who don’t leave you feeling like you need to take a shower when you get home. The owner and I actually got into an interesting exchange about the ingredients found in products intended to be applied to the body. Kama Sutra makes a body honey dust, but the problem is that it actually contains real honey and glucose. You end up getting that anywhere near your privates and that’s a prescription waiting to happen. Same thing with most chocolate body paints. I’ve encountered one or two that are artifically sweetened, so that’s an improvement. I bought this chocolate body whip once that was sugarless, the downfall was that it tasted like chocolate flavored shaving cream. Anyway, we got into talking about lubricants. Apparently the his and hers lube made by KY contains perfume, menthol and honey. The majority of the people that have tried it have complained that it burned, and gave them infections. And the vast number of "warming" lubricants actually BURN. There are lots of generic, unflavored lubes that are made with glycerin, but a lot of them dry out and become tacky very quickly. Some of them are petroleum based. I don’t recommend anything made by KY– as much as they’ve tried to experiment and expand their line of products to have all sorts of neat chemical effects, they’re just that: chemicals. They charge you a lot for it because it has those bells and whistles, but not a ton of thought went into the physical hygiene aspect of it. If it isn’t condom-safe, why are you using it? I wouldn’t put anything in my body that can eat through latex, thanks. People should stick to water-based lubes. It should specify what kind of glycerin is used, as some glycerin is made from animal byproducts. I like OhMy, because they’re organic, all-natural lubricants made with vegetable based glycerin and hemp oil. Strangely enough, they make theirs with Guarana, also, which is one of the major ingredients in energy drinks. And AstroGlide. It’s a product that is older than sin, it’s a bit expensive, but it works, it doesn’t get tacky, it’s very sanitary and it has no negative side effects. So those are two I recommend.

I’m very angry at my little Sister. VERY. ANGRY. My family has a long history of physical abuse followed by substance abuse. There have been a number of alcoholics and drug abusers in my family, and through the years some of them have managed to come out the other side. Occasionally, there are relapses into old behavior and habits. Or just digging themselves out of one problem and into another. My Brother is an ecstasy addict. He’s used recreational drugs before, but never with any regularity. He was an experimenter, which I disliked, but since it was always usually a one-off occasion, I could live with it. Now, I’ve experimented with pot, and on it’s own, it isn’t that bad. I could see it being legally acceptable if the government could take enough responsibility to regulate it. But since they make more money off of drug addicts who’ve gotten where they have because it’s a gateway drug, they won’t. I say it’s a gatway drug, not because pot smokers want to do other drugs, but in order to get pot, you’ve usually got to associate with dealers or friends who are also into other drugs, and some people can’t say no- they’re either truly curious or cave to the peer pressure. Anyway, my Brother has experimented with some pretty serious drugs, and lives with my Sister and her Husband, who do also, and are recovered Meth addicts. So the lifestyle, even if they have cleaned up, is still very present, because they’ve made drug experimentation socially acceptable in their home. Jordan got into ecstasy through a co-worker. He started slow, and then was gradually influenced into more frequent use, untill he was dropping 10 or 11 tabs a day- for WEEKS. Yesterday he declared to our family that he is a full blown addict and wants to stop. He said he was going to clean up. Then my little Sister, Victoria, called him. She is also a recreational experimenter, and one of her drugs of choice is ecstasy. For two hours, instead of encouraging his decision, she spend it telling him how wonderful ecstasy is. He left that conversation telling the house that he’d changed his mind. Today, he’s gone off to do some more. I’m particularly angry at her right now.



~ by Kд§$ị (ИovΔ) on 05/28/2009.

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