No Time For Empty Voids
Q: My husband and I have been married for 12 years. For the past six months, he has been slowly pulling away from me. He tells me that he loves me but says he isn’t in love with me. Recently, he moved out for a trial separation. I’m confused because we were once truly happy. We have a four-year-old child who is the love of both our lives. Is he going through a mid-life crisis? Can I do anything to bring us back together? – Sadly separated
Dear Sadly separated: I’m sorry to say, but I don’t think he’s being totally honest with you. I feel that he has been seeing someone. This is appalling behaviour, given that he’s your husband and you have a child together. Do you have the courage to challenge him on this? I sense that you’ve lost your power and that you’re just waiting for him to make the decisions. It’s time to be assertive — for both you and your child. I know it’s in you to take charge of matters. If it’s any comfort, this tryst with the other woman will fizzle and he’ll be sniffing around your door again. But by then you’ll have moved on. I know this scenario doesn’t seem possible, but trust me: You’re a strong woman and you’ll find your way.
I agree with the assessment. The only time this ever happened to me in a relationship, my spouse was cheating on me. We didn’t have a child, but we were common law married for several years. Personally, I’ve reached a point in believing that if a man cheats on you, it’s time to kick him to the curb. I tried the forgiving thing once, it’s pretty fruitless. Find a man who can keep it in his pants.
Party this weekend! We’re all strapping on our party hats.
I’m disappointed. I’m very disappointed. I wish that I’d taken this weekend to go to Vancouver alone, and party my face off with some of my Van friends at Celebrities. I’m feeling very much the urge to be selfish. This sucks.