Have I Lost You American Mouth? (Big Pill Stuck Going Down)

"None of us really know what we are doing here or what we are supposed to be doing here. We all, though, like to think we know. We are genuinely willing to accept the leadership of folk who think that they know something similar to whatever we think we know. Generally, though, the leaders have less of an idea than the followers. They compensate for that by employing advisers who usually know even less, but are even more obliged to act as if they know more. Be careful of whose advice you take today."
"Try to give you warning but everyone ignores me
(Told you everything loud and clear) But nobody’s listening
Call to you so clearly but you don’t want to hear me
(Told you everything loud and clear) But nobody’s listening."


I don’t know if I have ever given anyone anything they’ve never had in life before. I don’t know if I have managed to contribute one meaningful, unique thing to anyone. I don’t know in what ways I’m unique, why I’m different, if I matter. I don’t know. I know how I show people, I know what I save, what I protect, how I express those things for others. I feel like I am on a playing field all my own. I feel like "just another…" in so many aspects of my life that I’ve begun to feel like I’m disappearing- if ever I was there to begin with. I express alone. I trust, open up, become vulnerable. And I am the only one. I will never know you if you never let me. I’m actually considering with some level of seriousness the fact that I may have been dropped on my head as a child and suffer from delusions as a result of some permanent form of brain damage.
I am a person who is a naive idealist with unreasonable standards. It’s mardi gras. Do what you want. Do who you want. Go where you want. Eat what you want. Say what you want. I’ll be over here pretending I’m from the hedonistic Planet Earth. Apparently I’m not from Earth, not from Mars, not from Venus. Apparently, I’m actually from Pluto (the farthest away of celestial bodies)- and it isn’t even a fucking planet. Don’t try to understand me. We haven’t even made contact yet, and I have yet to decide if Earth qualifies as "intelligent life".

~ by Kд§$ị (ИovΔ) on 03/24/2009.

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