But Love Said I Had The Wit To Win: I Drew A Circle That Took You In

"This is the only life you’ve got. You need to enjoy all that there is to be enjoyed within it. Your soul goes on forever and your spirit is part of the big spirit that lives in all things but not so your ‘mortal identity’. That’s the bit of you that this forecast is for. Right now, it needs protecting. Someone is trying to suggest that you are not free to be who you want to be. Or you are cramping your own style with unreasonably high ideals about what you ought to be doing and experiencing. You’ve got kindnesses to carry out, sweet gifts to share and magic that only you can work. Shed your resentments, forget your fears and just embrace your opportunities. Your mind will be particularly sharp today. You will find it relatively easy to persuade people to your way of thinking even if the people concerned have been actively against your plans until today. This is certainly not a day to expect to stick to any form of routine. Plans will constantly change today as you find that you need to rush from place to place in an effort to get things done as you want. It might feel as though you’ve hit a financial brick wall. Even deeper issues: the meaning of life move up your agenda but could be pushed there by a Water baby (Cancer, Scorpio or Pisces) who’s going through a resources crisis. It’s just possible that someone’s leaning on you too heavily though – or is worried that you’re putting trust in people they don’t know. You’ll also have a lot on your mind today, though expressing it may be pointless; people will seem resistant to your advice and suggestions under the free-thinking Moon, so save your breath. Retreat and spend some time acknowledging the personal growth and positive changes you’ve been making. Light pink candles to access the romantic energies of tonight’s loving Pisces Sun. Your love life is getting interesting right now. You have had to make some challenging changes in your social schedule to please your partner, or to find a new one. Either way, you will find that something you dreaded turns out to be a huge blessing in disguise. Your significant other may be acting strangely today. The problem is likely to come from relatives or family members who have emotional troubles, or from the recollection of an old childhood issue, rather than from anything you do or say today."
 
This needs to be said, simply because I believe in an open dialogue of honesty, and I have not afforded it, fully, to anyone. Sometimes I live, very much, as though life were a game of cards- I don’t show the players all of my cards all at once. I only show a few at a time, but never enough to fully solve the puzzle. I acknowledge that it should not necessarily be this way, and I don’t conceal them forever… simply long enough to realize exactly what my cards are before I lay them down on the table.
 
I’ve been sick. Saying this, I want the people who read my blog to take a step back and breathe. To my knowledge, everything is fine, but had I not recognized it when I did, things may have become quite serious. I lost roughly 30+ pounds (I can’t quantify an exact amount, because I tend to fluxuate within 10 pounds or so at any given time) last week. My muscles were sore, my edema returned (in my face, in the mornings, mostly) and so did the constant nausea. Yesterday my eyes were a little bit violet, but I didn’t have the polyuria, neuropathy, sweats or jaundice, as I have previously experienced with things like this. I have been far more careful, and temporarily adjusted my medications. However, I didn’t tell anyone, when I realized what was happening. I am not exaggerating, as you have all been forewarned previously that too much stress is pretty much a free pass to the hospital, for me. With this said, I recognized it early on, and have been making a strong effort to correct the problem. Regardless, I should not have kept this to myself. Unfortunately, when I get sick enough for it to be a serious concern, I actually look healthier, until my condition becomes quite critical.
 
On the work front, I am feeling faint of heart, and quite frustrated. Tomorrow will be the deciding factor over whether or not I stay in Nanaimo. If I am not contacted by tomorrow night by my supposed employer, I will be leaving to work in Victoria.
 
At the moment, I have nothing more to say. I have a performance tonight at The Vault, if anyone wants to join me. I leave you with this:
 
Headlock
Imogen Heap
Speak For Yourself (2005)
 
Distant flickering, greener scenery. This weather’s bringing it all back again.
Great adventures, faces and condensation. I’m going outside to take it all in.
You say too late to start, got your heart in a headlock, I don’t believe any of it.
You say too late to start with your heart in a headlock, you know you’re better than this.

We’re a different pair, do something out of step. Throw a stranger an unexpected smile (with big intention).
Still posted at your station. Always on about the day it should have flied.
You say too late to start, got your heart in a headlock, I don’t believe any of it.
You say too late to start with your heart in a headlock, you know you’re better than this.
Afraid to start, got your heart in a headlock, I don’t believe any of it.
You say too late to start with your heart in a headlock, you know you’re better than this.

Been walking, you’ve been hiding and you look half dead half the time.
Monitoring you, like machines do, You’ve still got it, I’m just keeping an eye
I’ve been walking, you’ve been hiding and you look half dead half the time.
Monitoring you, like machines do, You’ve still got it, I’m just keeping an eye
So what? Don’t care. Will not, the end.
You know you’re better than this.
I’ll make you start, got your heart in a headlock, I don’t believe any of it.
You say too late to start with your heart in a headlock, you know you’re better than this.
Afraid to start, got your heart in a headlock, I don’t believe any of it.
You say too late to start with your heart in a headlock, you know you’re better than this.

***
 
♥Kдśśị
 

"Always be a first-rate version of yourself, instead of a second-rate version of somebody else." Judy Garland
 

"If you don’t run your own life, somebody else will." John Atkinson
 

"No one can make you feel inferior without your consent." Eleanor Roosevelt
 

"Trust yourself. Create the kind of self that you will be happy to live with all your life. Make the most of yourself by fanning the tiny, inner sparks of possibility into flames of achievement." Golda Meir
 
"I was always looking outside myself for strength and confidence but it comes from within. It is there all the time." Anna Freud
 
"For real self esteem is not derived from the great things you’ve done, the things you won. The mark you’ve made – but an appreciation of yourself for what you are." Maxwell Max
 
"All too often we’re filled with negative and limiting beliefs. We’re filled with doubt. We’re filled with guilt or with a sense of unworthiness. We have a lot of assumptions about the way the world is that are actually wrong." Jack Canfield
 
"The worst loneliness is not to be comfortable with yourself." -Mark Twain
 
"I love myself for I am a beloved child of the universe and the universe lovingly takes care of me now." -Louise Hay
 
"You cannot be lonely if you like the person you’re alone with." -Wayne Dyer
 
"If I have lost confidence in myself, I have the universe against me." -Ralph Emerson

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~ by Kд§$ị (ИovΔ) on 02/21/2009.

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