…But The Sun Will Set For You…

I’ve had an amazing day. Just when I wonder how things could get better, they just do. I wasn’t sure how all of this was going to work, having Gillian in my life, and in the way that she’s in my life. I wondered if I was prepared for that. But I love having her around. She’s this sweet little girl with a round face, these incredible eyes and the sweetest little smile. She has short, dirty blond hair with pink streaks in it. She wears really patterned dresses, and her favorite color is pink. One day, she wants a motorcycle, just like her Dad (only she wants a dirt bike). We all got up this morning, and watched some Treehouse and drank coffee, then we went out for breakfast (which became lunch, because Tina’s is closed on Mondays now, and the Lighthouse was flooded last night) at The Modern Cafe. Gillian was very good, because we walked around for several hours, and she’s only four. She didn’t complain or have to stop to pee even once. We went to Thrifty’s and London Drugs to buy some things for her (toothpaste, toothbrush, cereal and smilies potatoes).
But I was walking through Port Place with John (Gilly was in the middle, holding our hands), and this woman walked past and smiled as John let Gilly run ahead to the carousel ride and wrapped an arm around my waist, and I felt so wonderful. Like, this is the life I’ve wanted. The simple parts are so completely beyond satisfying, and I have it. I don’t even have to wait, really. If it ever came about that John and I became serious enough to approach conversations about the future in a serious context, there isn’t pressure on me in the worry that I may not be able to have children– he has one. In any loving, lasting relationship, ideally I would want to have at least one of my own, but if it came down to deciding whether or not having kids of my own is a good idea or not, I don’t have to worry that I’d be denying him anything. He’s said once before that he’ll be okay if Gillian is the only child he ever has. I love watching him with her. He has moons in his eyes when he looks at her.
The plan for the rest of the day is taking Gillian to Jumpin’ Jiminy’s, and then on to Open Mic. Anyhow, it beckons. I must depart…



~ by Kд§$ị (ИovΔ) on 09/15/2008.

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