Am I A Rock, Or A Rose, Or A Fist?

Ahh, home. I don’t know what to take from my visit, other than to be glad I got to see the people that I love, and without a hitch (despite the fact that I showed up without warning). I went across to Vancouver on the new Coastal Renaissance. That is one beautiful ship. For a ferry, it is certainly quite a thing to boast about. I’m imagining what it must have been like for the crew that sailed it across to Vancouver from Germany. The only thing I felt it was lacking, was that even though the seats in the front of the ship were nestled right up against the glass, they were also sideways. So imagine this: you’re sitting beside an amazing view, and it would be perfect if only you could stop throwing up because of the motion sickness. I cannot travel sideways or backwards. I don’t know why, but I am not a unidirectional traveller. Whenever I move, it must be forward. But then, in terms of travel, I was always the Linda Blair of the vehicle.  I rode back on the Coastal Inspiration, which was smaller and less impressive, but still did the job. I love the Veggie Burgers they serve. Is that sad?
 
I didn’t get to see Chris, unfortunately he fell ill with the flu and Keegan was working, so there was nobody to look after Kyler. Poor Chris, he sounded terrible while he was running after Kyler, trying to keep him out of trouble. And he kept apologizing for it!! Aww, I just old him it comes with the territory when you have friends with children, and not to apologize for it. He’s coming across to visit on Monday. I’m very excited. They’re coming to check out Open Mic night and hear me sing! Yay!
 
Anyhow, my transit legs were sharp as ever, despite my sudden and surprising brain-damage, where for some reason I didn’t seem to know how to valdate my transfer… *coff* I spent about an hour downtown, just taking it all in. I used to spend an inordinate amount of time down in the Granville, Robson, Burrard and Cambie areas. It didn’t remind me of what I expected, because I spent quite a lot of time there by myself or or with he-who-shall-not-be-named. Being there, the only person I wanted to see was Lauren. Good God, I missed Lauren this last week. I’ve never taken her for ganted, as a friend, and yet, it feels like I could have done better by her. She is an amazing person, who I just love to be around. We bounce minds off one another in a way that is just ingenius in its ways, and yet completely unprompted. It’s entirely natural. Anyhow, I couldn’t even manage to eat one of the vendor hot dogs across from Bang-On that we always ate together, Laure. It made me so sad. I can’t find my USB cable, but as soon as I do, there will be visual aids. I looked like such a touristy photog, because I was snapping my pictures as a "Cure Lauren’s Home Sickness" photo journal. The one place I should have gone that I didn’t get to see was Metro Chapters (just to take a picture of it for you…). And I went to Lululemon to snag a sweater for Conor, but they had no mediums– you were right. I would have gotten it for you, though! I even checked TNA (which is pretty-much Vancouver’s answer to Lululemon), but they were doing this strange metrosexual man-glitter thing. I did stop at Booster Juice to indulge in my favorite fruity beverage– a Raspberry Rapture with a Power Booster. I got rushed through the whole process, unfortunately, because my sister has a bigger phobia of crowds than I do. I’m actually fairly adaptable when it comes to population. I am way more bad-ass in the city, though. Rachel did make a surprising observation about me that even I wasn’t aware of: I’m a traveller. I’m not happy if I’m not on the move, even just to visit and explore. I can live in one place and feel fine, but I have to be out, getting around, wandering. It’s strangely true. I love to be out, travelling around and having things to do and see.
 
All told, I went to Starbucks 6 times. I was intentionally going as much as I could stomach– hehe. I saw my sister, my niece and my nephew, and that was wonderful. However, my sister did what she always does and asked me to stay, and somehow managed to ask me to buy her something (she paid me back). However, when she asked me to stay, she gave me misinformation about the next ferry trip across to Duke Point and I ended up having to get Rachelly to drive me to the Tsawwassen Ferry– AGAIN. Something inside told me not to go see my Sister. I feel like a genuine ass for saying it, but deep in my gut, I knew even a 3 hour visit was not going to be manageable, and it wasn’t. All of my plans for day 2 got completely screwed up. I remain unimpressed. Oh, oh, and the cherry ontop of my sloppy, melted sundae: I ran into Nate when I got back (we used to work together at Co-Op). Now, Nate isn’t a bad person, but he’s socially inept, and has some very relevant issues dampening his situation (morbid obesity and terrible body odor, and his best friend NEVER bathes, for starters). Well, Nate started telling me how nice I look, and how cute I am, before almost immediately jumping into an undesired marriage proposal. Yes, he even told me he loved me. I responded with an "Okay then." and scurried away. I was previously informed that Nate had an infatuation problem, and I have barely spoken to him as I have only actually worked WITH him ONCE. All of our other interactions have been a wave as I crossed the room. Awesome. I get proposed to for the first time in my life (even if it holds no actual weight) and it’s from him, a love-sick puppy who thinks I’m hot. Wow, Kassi. You lose this round.
 
Anyhow, I got fully body-rocked at work today. We pulled in $1200 over lunch, which never happens. That’s almost $700 more than we make most mornings. Of course, it was raining and I was the only cashier on, so I had a non-stop 5 car lineup in drive-thru and at least 2 people at the till for almost the entire afternoon. It was insanity. The way I had to move, move, move, really reminded me of martial arts. It was almost a dance. Either way, it was excessively tiring, so I’m going to go relax my poor, sore body.
 
Lauren– you are my best friend, my sister, my favorite. Oh how I miss you. Words can’t do this hollow any justice.
 
Melanie Chrisholm
"Carolyna"
Just another girl with a dream in her heart
Wanna make a new start with a fire inside of her // She had to go
She couldn’t stay around, everybody let her down
Stole the light and the life and the child inside of her // She’s so alone
Running for the train // Take her far away from everything she knows
And the way they make her feel // She leaves today
Never look back never lose track already strong
She’s seen too much at seventeen
The past will fade with the future that she craves

Carolyna you travel so far
Trying to escape the pain, start again where you are
Carolyna you keep following your star
Nobody said you’re beautiful, you’re beautiful the way you are

Finally you’re free where you long to be // But it won’t take long till hits reality
The streets are cold // Big, bad city gonna eat you up
Hard to survive, hard to keep your sanity // Still feeling low
But she’s never going home

Carolyna you travel so far
Trying to escape the pain, start again where you are
Carolyna you keep following your star
Nobody said you’re beautiful, you’re beautiful the way you are

She tries to rest
All she needs is a warm caress // All she wants is happiness

Carolyna you travel so far
Trying to escape the pain, start again where you are
Carolyna you keep following your star
Nobody said you’re beautiful, you’re beautiful the way you are
So beautiful the way you are // So beautiful the way you are
Carolyna you travel so far
Trying to escape the pain, start again where you are
Carolyna you keep following your star
Nobody said you’re beautiful, you’re beautiful the way you are
Carolyna.

***
 
If I had a single flower for every time I think about you, I could walk forever in my garden.
You left, and my heart is a ceaseless sermon of loneliness.
♥Kдssi
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~ by Kд§$ị (ИovΔ) on 06/26/2008.

One Response to “Am I A Rock, Or A Rose, Or A Fist?”

  1. Oh hon! I miss you so much! You are so awesome!

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