Little Miss Muffet Counting Down To The 7-3-0

I’m having this recurring problem of restless sleep. I can actually spend hours upon hours trying to sleep, constantly turning myself over and over like a flapjack in bed, without actually getting any rest. I’ve resolved that it must be the heat. Try having this problem, coupled with a long history of insomnia, and you’ll get some kind of idea of what constant tiredness is.
 
The party last night was not what I expected. It was a lot of musically involved and talented individuals that got together to celebrate Dan’s 50th birthday party, so as you can imagine, it was tiki torches, live jam sessions and good conversation. That’s okay, to be honest, business-talk gets dull and I’d rather make good friends than anything else when it comes to my musical affiliations. There was only one person there my age, who despite how little we had in common (at least in terms of life pursuits) managed to carry on an intensely interesting conversation that spanned 3 hours. It started being about social ideologies and racim and classism, and we managed to branch out into creation and the science of alternate universes and religion and philosophy. I was massively entertained. I felt a little bad for him, though, because the two of us were surrounded by overly assertive conversationalists who were almost all at least 20 years our senior, so we had to fight to get words in edgewise, since everyone was so opinionated. It was occasionally difficult to differentiate passion from plain rudeness, but we chose to take a peaceful stance.
 
I put my profile back up on Plenty Of Fish. I’m just relaxing and letting whatever happens happen. I don’t know why, but dating in general makes me feel really pressured to decide rightnow if whoever I’m talking to is soulmate material, you know? This, when it would be so much more comfortable to just decide to sit back, be friendly and enjoy getting to know each-other without all of the added pressure of expectation. As someone who has historically ended up in what is called "The Hitchcock Moment" (when you realize that an environment you’re in that seemed commonplace is actually inherently dangerous) I like meeting in neutral, well-populated areas that I’m acquainted with, and usually with backup. The buddy system is almost foolproof.
 
I keep getting this lecture about cooling my heels and waiting for life to happen. So this is where I say "fuck that noise, life: here I come." (I am ready, I am ready, I am ready, I am taffy stuck and tongue-tied. I am folded, and unfolded and unfolding, I am.)
 
One thing I’m kind-of yearning for: A rainstorm on an evening that I have a day off, or after work. Just warm rain. I love being out in it. When it would rain warm in Terrace, Jen and I would go outside in our shorts and tank tops, and just walk in it for hours. I absolutely love it.
 
 
 
In the depth of winter, I finally learned that within me there lay an invincible summer. 
♥Kassi
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~ by Kд§$ị (ИovΔ) on 05/25/2008.

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