Your Soul Is Brittle From My Torment

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The things your mind does when you’ve had a drink is sometimes exceptional, because you’re a little less inhibited. Oh if only I had the cojones to let myself be effected by shit just a little more often.
 
Something everyone needs to know about me: I am never what you expect, I am not a sure thing, and I am not a constant in this universe. There are things about me that are very much that way, and to some people, I suppose this statement is not entirely true. For some people I am exactly as I seem. But truthfully, any unreasonable amount of undeserved treatment will yield surprising results from me. So you know what? Please don’t sugar-coat things for me and try to make them sound pretty, or less upsetting. The harder people try not to hurt me when they’re doing something hurtful, the more frusterated I get. Fucking well cut the goddamned cord already. Just break the silence. SAY IT! I don’t care. Yes, I have a fragile heart and a vulnerable spirit, but I am brave. I am strong enough. People have laid this shit on me for my entire life, so I’ve become accustomed to this hardened exterior. No matter what you do, it will hurt, so just rip the damned bandaid off while I’m prepared, okay?
 
Omissions are lies. Omissions are lies. Omissions are lies. Omissions are lies. I cannot stress this enough!: OMISSIONS ARE LIES! I am not your judge and jury! If you’re a jackass, just BE ONE so that we don’t have to waste our time with all of this pretention!
 
Sorry, this is a mixture of lots of long conversations with my Mom and friends and the alcohol. I went over to Ben’s for dinner yesterday (he made an awesome whole wheat pasta and we watched some Tom Green stuff) and we ran up to the liquor store so he could return some cans and get a bottle of wine, and I decided to get the 1 carb Smirnoff Ice’s (because I can drink those). I had one, got decently soused, went home, had another and went to bed. This is all stuff that was rolling around in my head at the time.
 
I finished my last day at Co-Op. I’m kind-of sad. I liked it there. Oh well, my job went to a really awesome person: Maggie’s daughter, Carol! She was pretty awesome. I took one look at her and knew she was Maggie’s daughter, even though I’d never met her before. It was uncanny. She was surprised to find out that I’m my Mom’s daughter too, because everyone thinks I look nothing like my Mom. I sure do sound like her, though.
 
I’m grumpy and going for a nap. Not enough sleep. GRR.
Woke up to my favorite day, then you came and brought it to an end, I know now that time is not a friend.
♥Kassi
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~ by Kд§$ị (ИovΔ) on 05/22/2008.

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