I Want To Stay Beside You
I have had a long day. Sometimes I discount my ability to forge on when others won’t, and I certainly discount my intuition about my own body. Almost everyone I work with has come down with strep (most of them before me, but others dwindling just a day or two after I first felt the symptoms). I, as it currently stands, am the only one who has actually sought treatment. Angelina has had strep for a few weeks and hasn’t been given meds by her doctor. This is stupid. She needs penicillin, not oxycontin. It’s not as though she could be seen as a drug-seeker in this particular circumstance. Considering that there is currently an outbreak of strep in this area of Nanaimo, and most people here either have it or have had it, it would have been safe for her doctor to simply begin treating her, much in the way a diagnostician would have. This is what I did. I don’t generally self diagnose, but there is a degree of common sense involved when you have a medical condition and you live with other people.
Toria has had strep for more than a week, and although she isn’t contagious anymore, and has been successfully treated, at some point during the incubation period, it was transmitted to me (I think I ate her toast. ). Regardless, I knew when I started feeling it that it was strep. I’ve had it 9 times before– it wasn’t fun any of the times I’ve had it previously. So it was safe to say that I had strep, which I told the kind doctor, and he quickly agreed with me. I was in and out of the clinic in 5 minutes, with my prescription. People need to be more discriminating of their illnesses. They tend to ignore the initial signs of illness until the illness is full blown and has been spread around like wildfire, and then end up dragging their carcasses to the clinic only to discover that isn’t just a sniffly cold, or that the incubation period has passed, and they’ll have to wait it out. I can tell the difference between a cold and a bona fide illness. This instinct has saved my life a lot recently. Hypochondria and I are fairly unacquainted. Regardless of that fact, if other people were more attentive about what their body is trying to tell them, this doctor’s office congestion problem may actually correct itself.
With that said, I am glad that I have arrived at the end of my week and look so forward to my two days off. I plan to be absolutely overjoyed the entire time. I will likely be taking a much needed hiatus away from the universe that is online for that time. Until then…
You were there with me–
weren’t you there with me?
Didn’t I run to you when the world got too hard?
When my life fell apart; When the light turned to dark?
Aren’t you the one who told me
I could be anything, anyone
And not to trust, not anything
Because only your love was worthy
And now that the clouds have all lifted
and the sun is shining
Now that my hope is rising
Where are you to share it with?
Where are you?
Now that the door is open and my heart is hoping
Now that I’m not broken
Why aren’t you here?
Were you just my prison all those years
a four-sided room of bars?
Were you just a brick wall I kept hitting
blindly in the dark?
Don’t you want to see me happy?
Why, why aren’t you here with me?
Why aren’t you here?
Kassondra Staschuk © 2008
True love does not come by finding the perfect person, but by learning to see an imperfect person perfectly.