Never

So I posted my song about 2 days ago and here’s my beef, not that everyone doesn’t have a life of their own to contend with, but it feels really convenient that every time I need someone to listen and it’s about my music, there isn’t an open ear for a thousand miles. The only person I know of who has taken the time to listen to my new song is Lauren. If nobody leaves me comments, I have no idea if anyone has downloaded it or listened to it or liked it or hated it.

It’s not even just posted on LiveJournal. I’ve posted it on FOUR websites. FOUR.

When people come up to me that I’ve known forever and tell me they never knew that I wanted to spend my life making music, that it’s what makes me truly happy, I just want to punch them in the face. I give people the opportunity to hear me, to get to know me that way, to in some way be a part of that, and nobody notices. And BECAUSE it’s my passion, when I get a completely blind, stupified wall of blank faces about it, it actually does hurt my feelings. Every single time I try to show someone something I’ve made I’ll be playing it and then whoever I’m showing it to starts talking and suddenly it’s like they don’t even know I’m there.

If you don’t like it, open your goddamn mouth and say so. That would be less offensive to me than being completely ignored. When I get ignored it implies that it’s not that you don’t like it, you don’t even care enough to take a few minutes of your time to decide if you do or don’t and say so.

My family does the same thing to me about my music. It’s incredibly discouraging.

I know that I’m not SO BAD that everyone hates my music because I’ve had complete strangers tell me that I have true talent, that I’m wasting my life at Chevron when I should be making my music professionally. I’ve had OTHER MUSICIANS tell me that.

So please speak up. If you’ve heard it take the few seconds to tell me what you think because being ignored is hurtful. It would be a shame if I made my music without sharing it with anyone and then had to ignore everyone if it ever got me anywhere.

K

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~ by Kд§$ị (ИovΔ) on 04/18/2007.

4 Responses to “Never”

  1. I put off everything…

    I just listened to it and it was pretty catchy. There were a couple parts where I thought the vocals and the music didn’t match up, as in one was just a couple beats behind the other.
    I like the fluid feeling of it. Nice.

    you only posted your music download thing a few days ago, maybe people are just busy and not trying to ignore you.

    • Thanks. Yeah, when I record at home at night it’s really hard to hear the bars through the headphones because I had to keep the volume low enough to avoid feedback.

      And I don’t mean people on LJ specifically anyway… even in person people ignore me that way. I’ll be like really excited and I HAVE TO SHOW YOU SOMETHING and suddenly they’ve turned the volume down and are having a conversation overtop of it and aren’t listening. It’s really hurtful because that’s the COMMON reaction I get from people.

  2. I downloaded it and will listen it later when people aren’t sleeping (my headphones ran away). I’d have to agree with the above comment that it was being busy not ignoring you as to why I didn’t download it before.

    • I’m sorry if I guilt tripped everyone to the point where you all think I meant you guys specifically. Cuz I didn’t. I was generalizing and that is bad. SORRY!

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