On My Own


Just as a precursor to this entry, Phil felt that it was within his rights to acquire a bunch of personal information of mine (for example, my PIN number, my SIN number, etc…) I decided that it was time for him to understand how it feels to have your privacy invaded on. He likes to have things that he shouldn’t, as if it’s some power he has over people. I find it kind of sick. I read every last entry. I’m amazed how much shit he’s talked about us that is none of his fucking business. He thinks that his two facedness is a total mystery to me. It isn’t. It hasn’t been for at least the last two months. I know exactly what he thinks and it’s all a bunch of pathetic drivel. Be amused. I never reacted to what he wrote because he’s entitled to his opinion. But he plans to post this on LJ ladies and gentlemen.

I know he’s talking shit to other people about us. He’s full of crap. There are girls coming in to my work telling me to tell him to stop following them or they’ll call the Police. Did you know that? I’ve learned a great deal about him in the last few months that are little known. He wrote that he finds himself sexually attracted to girls that he knows are as young as 16. That’s something PEDOPHILES write about. Not to mention the lame porn stories I found with his journal that are dated almost directly after that particular entry. Connection?

We took him to my Grandparent’s Christmas party this year, and we found out later that he was talking to my 14 year old cousin about her breasts almost the whole time (after I told him that my family has a lot of sexual abuse history including her) even after the fact that talking about a 14 year old’s breasts is ENTIRELY inappropriate. My family wanted to THROW him out, they nearly did, but they didn’t want to embarrass me. My family hates him. My landlords hate him. My friends hate him. Friends of friends fucking hate him. Like hey, CLUE IN!

So here I am, finally back on LJ. According to Phil, if I use the computers at Future Shop to update sometimes I’m a hypocrite, even though they know full and well that I’m using their internet, they allow me to, and they really don’t care because they have it on their demo computers so people can try them out. That’s the whole point. He only wrote that because I bitched at him for constantly sucking up electricity from his computer. He’s on it all the time when he’s home. He almost always has the TV on, and at least one light. We only have five lights inside our apartment, okay? So when you think about the average of three to five, that’s a lot.

This whole thing has been really hard. Phil has been a massive burden (despite what he thinks) and we’ve done everything short of pull our teeth out in order not to bitch at him about it. According to his journal (which he thinks is a great wondrous mystery) I’ve been a bitch lately. Well let us wheigh the reasons that might be.

Phil thinks that the sun shines out of his ass. He refused to eat the food we made when we had dinner when he first moved in, then only ate junk food that he spent his apartment money on. Now he thinks that he’s gained muscle wheight. In what delusional world do you get to eat 8 super bags of doritos, three tubs of gummy bears, 10 litres of pop and gain muscle wheight? I’m sorry but walking for a half hour a day and using a meat slicer with one arm doesn’t make you a body builder. He thought that he was a pimp because some two bit stripper gave him a hug only in a towel (after he paid her 20 dollars to be nice to him). He spends his weekends out downtown either giving away food and money that he can’t afford to lose to homeless people, or on clubbing or on strippers or on a big fat block of fudge from Lonsdale Quay. And I’d lecture him about spending his money on shit he can’t afford (like $90 in starcraft toys from Big Pete’s and a $60 Billy Club from Camouflage) so that he couldn’t afford a place to live, forcing us to finally kick his ass out the door, and it almost made him homeless. If it wasn’t for the fact that our landlord told us to kick him out because of recent contractual issues with the District of North Vancouver we would be kicking him out anyway. He acts like Vancouver is a cup of tea. Hastings on a Saturday in the middle of the night isn’t scary at all according to him. He should try being there alone in his khaki’s and button down shirt with his little comb over and see how pleasant it stays.

I pay out $600 to $700 a month around here, and Steve equals that in paying for the car and rent. Phil was giving us $200. Wow. That’s not even 15%. Phil spent $700 on CRAP when he moved here, and should have made $3000 since. He’s spent nearly all of it (also on CRAP).

I asked him not to rinse out blood red dye off his newly dyed clothing at our house because I didn’t want anything stained (for the sake of not losing our $325 damage deposit) and I asked him several times not to. Well he waited until I was at work, told Steve that I okayed it and dumped a big tub of bright red dye into our landlord’s garden. In response I unplugged his computer. If you want priveleges like electricity to your toys then you fucking well treat me with respect. You listen to me when I say no. What am I, his fucking MOM? Do I seriously have to treat him like a child? I got him the job he has, he never had to work for it. He got me fired, then acted like he had no part of it.

He sets his alarm to go off anywhere between two hours and an hour before he needs to be awake, on the radio at full blast when I’ve had three hours of sleep, or Steve’s only had three hours of sleep because we both worked so late and have to be up so friggin early. He hits snooze so that it goes off at least a dozen times before turning it off, and by then we CAN’T get back to sleep. He turned my alarm off a few times, and it made me late for work (as if I don’t know it was him, I proved it. We do have a camera).

And as for being accused of not giving him messages about apartments, why in the FUCK would I do that? I want him out. I want him gone. I want him to leave. I would make UP messages if I thought it would do any good. I’ve had to degrade my behavior to nasty bitch in order for him to understand that we don’t want him. I mean, he couldn’t find a job or a place on his own. He wasn’t even willing to try! I got THREE jobs since he’s been here! It takes work and dedication.

And as for his time here, he’s spent the whole time complaining that we’re invading HIS space (IT’s OUR FUCKING HOUSE!!!) taking over his bed (IT’S OUR FUCKING COUCH!!!) and blah blah blah. He also went off on this tangent about how I accidentally turned the lights off on him once (as if I’d done it on purpose when I didn’t and I apologized to him for it). He was staying on our phone for hours, on the computer for hours, bitching and whining when we wanted to use it and he couldn’t, giving our phone number out to everyone under the sun, receiving phone calls at 4-4:30am, staying up until the early morning watching TV. We had to spend a ton of money so we could have time ALONE. And I see the extreme irony in the fact that we got the internet back the day he moved out. Hahaha.

I’m sick of Phil always acting like there’s something wrong with him that he can fix but never tries to. He likes to act like he has problems, as if they make him cool or special. He wants to be Goth now, (hahaha) just so he can be more interesting. (For example, Steve and I both think he’s been cutting himself in our bathroom, and half a bottle of advil has mysteriously vanished). And he bought this horrible studded belt that would look good on anybody else (Steve bought one of the same belts that day, and it’s great on him). But he wears it with the vacation shirts my Grandpa gave him (tucked in of course) on his tight white pansy ass pants, because he thinks it would make him look badass, but I think it looks outright hilarious. And the poetry… oh GOD… the poetry…

I think that we’ve been accommodating enough. I’ve done EVERYTHING short of find him a place to live for him. You can’t get a high paying job with no drive to achieve it, and the job he does have I got him. We’ve put up with his bullshit too long, we gave him TWO MONTHS of warning before now and he wants us to feel sorry for him? His fault! How long does he expect to be able to invade our privacy and our personal space and talk shit about us like it’s any of his business? He said he’d be a week, he’s been THIRTEEN weeks. He’s WAY overstayed his welcome.

You know what? I’m sick and tired of being nice to somebody who acts like he knows everything. I’ve had to mom Phil this whole way through moving out. He was lucky to find a place the day before we kicked him out. It’s a 600 square foot house shared between 6 people. Comfy. He came at me the other day insisting that Matter equals inertia. Ha! E=MC2. Right? If matter equalled energy then the equation would be e=m. Inertia is the stored energy of an object. Theoretically, it is the energy stored within an object, and is thought to be endless, which is why they say that if it weren’t for friction, an object that is pushed, rolled, dropped, thrown (etc) could travel forever without slowing. But matter is not inertia. Not by any means. Matter could become energy, in theory, if its speed could accelerate beyond the speed of light. Anyway… I’ve learned a lot about Phil. He’s a self-obsorbed person who is trying way too hard to be interesting. Now it’s Dianetics and Marketing strategies. HA! Wake up and look outside. I’ve seen the worst of you, Phil, and I totally have your number. Right now I don’t think that I wouldn’t wish you on the greatest enemies of my life. I sincerely hope you get what you deserve. I hope to still be his friend after all of this, but I am still awaiting an apology for being so goddamned rude and disrespectful as often as he possibly could be.

In other news, we may be moving again. It won’t be for awhile yet if we do, but we had complications with the zoning of our house with the District, so they’re selling our house. We may be able to rent off of the buyers, which we’re hoping for. 😀 It has been a pain though because sometimes weird people will come and stare into our windows like they have the right to invade my privacy. We’ve had people walk into our apartment at 8am before any of us were even awake and say rather loudly “Is this a bedroom?” I want to smack these people. It’s like, excuse me, I don’t walk into your private residence, no matter what the reason and violate your right to privacy.

I got my gym membership. I’m so happy because I can get back on track now with my strict diet and exercise routine. I was feeling so great when I was in the swing of it and lately I’ve been feeling like a pile of crap. I severely reinjured my left knee a few days ago, and have to undergo some physiotherapy. I’m resisting the arthroscopic surgery because of how invasive it is. I’m not supposed to subject it to long periods of constant pressure, but I can’t exactly not go to work. The doctors are hoping to avoid the surgery for as long as possible. They told me that if I have the surgery my chances of walking again are only 45-50%. I’m not willing to take that risk. But they did tell me that I may be able to collect disibility for the pain it causes me when I am at work. So after the physio I’m going to be undergoing some tests. I’m being positive about it right now. It has been unbearably painful after about 6 hours of work. It takes a lot to keep myself from passing out sometimes, but I’ve forewarned everyone I’m working with/for. I also managed to pinch a nerve in my back, which causes me a lot of pain when I sit for too long. There’s really nothing but time that can fix that. Hahaha. It’s really common but I think it’s funny. I can’t stand, can’t sit. Can I float?

That’s actually a good idea. I’m going to be swimming more, hopefully if only to get some non-pressure exercise, maybe work out that nerve. I do feel great though. I’m excited to be going back to the normal swing of things. We went grocery shopping and we were like little kids that like vegetables. “Yay! Lettuce!” Hahaha.

Canadian Idol went okay. I spent 14 hours waiting in line and still ended up in the last 200 people. By then they’d picked everyone so they were only auditioning to cover their own asses. It was rather disappointing, but I wasn’t sure I even wanted it right now. My life is way too out of sync for the moment to leave it before it gets fixed. Y’Know? But Brian Mulroney did stick his ass like RIGHT in my face. LoL.

I MADE JOHN CARPENTER PIZZA LAST NIGHT! Yes, he is on set for the film shoot of a remake of his film THE FOG. So he’s in the film studio right now. So is Harrison Ford. 😀

I met Trevor Guthrie, the lead singer of SoulDecision more than a few times. He likes the Honey Bacon Club from Quizno’s, and I sold him a bottled water at Flying Wedge. But anyway, I need to go rot on the couch before work. Sitting in this chair hurts. Love you all.


~ by Kд§$ị (ИovΔ) on 03/01/2005.

9 Responses to “On My Own”

  1. Hey Darlin….

    I’m so sorry that you’re dealing with such an asshole right now…I had a couple of bad roommates last year that I didn’t choose to live with, they weren’t as bad as this fucker, but they were downright horrible human beings.
    Things will start to look up soon, I’m sure…..but if they don’t, do not ever hesitate to call me at 614-0613 (250), if you ever wanna have a bitch fest, it would be great to hear your voice!
    Hang in babe,

  2. Duuude, you must be way winded after that rant. *hands you a Disani* What a fucker, eh? I woulda booted his ass out looong time ago!

    So whats this about you coming to Terrace? When?

  3. hey, I’m so proud of you for kicking his ass out. I can’t believe it! I can’t believe you were are nice as you were, I’d be over him like white on rice….lol, nah, if he was mine friend I’d try to be nice. but really I can’t believe that. it’s just crazy!
    anyways, I’m really proud of you for supporting you and steve in the big city… OMG!! OMG!! it’s to late now, but to bad you didn’t contact someone from a t.v sation to get a reality show out of the whole deal! lol!!
    not like you need more invasion of your privacy!
    anyway take care!

    • Thanks

      It took a long while, and it was a long while coming. We both felt bad because he had nowhere to go… but he wasn’t trying to find a place to go to. I did think that it would have made an interesting reality TV show, but it got pretty ugly and he got pretty self obsorbed. I really had to be nasty in the end to get him to understand.

  4. Heh, funny how when people live with you things can go horribly wrong eh? My so-called best friend lived with me for a couple weeks in highschool, by the end of it I didn’t even want to talk to her anymore because of the shit she had tried to drag me through. Your situation doesn’t really compare though as it was much worse. I’m glad things are slowly getting back to normal for you ^_^

    • I lived with Phil before. I didn’t expect any behavior like this. I didn’t expect him to act like a royal jerk. People warned me, and I still took him in despite better warnings. In the future I’m not sure I will have any business with him at all. But thank you. I appreciate the support.

  5. *squish* At least this is all over, right?

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