Tears Of The Sun

So it occurred to me that in all of this self-realization bullshit I’ve neglected my friends. So I’m giving a serious shout out. I want to let you all know that I miss you, I wish so badly that I could just see you guys. My God…

Things seem like they’re really hard for you right now. I wish that I could be there for you to just bullshit with and get the angst really just OUT. And I wish that I could be there to bitch at all the fuckers that you work for (at this point it’s not going to hurt me any).
I wish the people you work with realize that you have a life. You have things that you’re dealing with that make you feel exhausted and angry and provoked and I wish that it wasn’t jerk-offs like Jeremy that tried so hard to clash with that.
And I so wish I was there to give a supreme bitching to Campbell Stewart, who has the integrity of a prison inmate, the depth of a soapdish and the intellect of a plastic fork. He treats his people like shit, and he needs to know that his behavior is completely unprofessional.
I love you, man. I miss going patrolling with you, and I miss going out until 4am to Mohawk for no fucking reason whatsoever, and when I come visit we are so doing all of those things just for the hell of it. I miss you.

When I left things were really hairy. And let me tell you that things are SO much better. I honestly believe that there is an unhealthy amount of self-thought between yourself and your Mom, whether or not you believe me. I’m glad you were finally brave enough to take a break and go see your Dad. And I am also very glad that you have met people who finally make you enjoy life for a change, and a path of belief to follow that was chosen completely on your own. I sincerely wish you the best luck in the future finding yourself in the outlets you’ve found. I miss you. I miss your obsessed Orlando Bloom thing… and I assure you that if we ever share a house again I’m bringing my own damned computer. LOL.

To my other friends, Brandon, Meggz, Barry, Jess, Tyra, Cayley, Lindsay, etc… there are lots of you. I just miss you guys so much. I don’t have much time for friends, or for that matter, many friends, so I do miss you, and I do wish I could just sit with you and obsorb your presence and just let you babble to me about small Terrace life. *tear* I miss it.



~ by Kд§$ị (ИovΔ) on 10/17/2004.

16 Responses to “Tears Of The Sun”

  1. Dont worry mums sending me money down for a laptop either this weekend or the next so if we ever share a house I’ll have my own computer 😀 and yes I love rituals and whatnot you know me! I miss Orlando too.. I only have ONE Legolas poster here!!! and only ONE Will Turner! and only ONE Orlando poster!!! OOOOHHH I got a Lord of the Rings tarrot deck yesterday.. its tres cool 😀
    Miss ya
    *~* Jen *~*

  2. Oh and what do you mean by senlf-thought? Im confuzzled!

  3. fucker!! *Self-thought

    • Fucker

      Funny shiz. Self-thought is sort-of like self preservation. You were both so worried that the war between the two of you was going to fuck up what you wanted it never got better. It’s not like self-involvement. It’s like… where you do care, and you want resolution, but you have so much fear that it won’t stop that it gets worse.

      • Re: Fucker

        OOoooohhh okay.. Yeah its way better here… I think I’ll go back for a visit on spring break but wont actually move back till like summer (if I do move back) I like it here (even though Jayne is totally over protective lol) well yep ttyl
        *~* Jen *~*

  4. “I wish so badly…” Gah! You used the ‘W’ word!
    *wonders if he’s a Buffy geek*

    Depth of a soapdish… I was laughing aloud at that one, which rarely happens when I’m at the computer alone… Good one! 😀

    Jeremy and I aren’t at each other’s throats or anything. It was all in jest, and we both knew it. We do that a lot. I give it out as much as I get it…

    I’m looking into getting myself a staff that’ll break down and be hidden easily… Though I don’t think there’s as much of a problem with uglies here as there is gangs of white kids beating on homeless people. They killed one at some point, and a month or so ago, they put another one into the hospital :S

    Anyways, glad to hear from you again!~!~!

  5. Hey Kassi –
    I know what you mean about missing Terrace but not belonging there. Once you get out you do miss it – there’s just something about the eerie beauty of the northwest that will forever be a huge part of me. However… I’m so glad to be away from a lot of that town and the person I used to be. New leaf – wonderful.

    Re: Small Terrace Life

    I think I resent that 😉 You’re not the only city gal! You know Lindsay’s going to SFU? So she’s in Vancouver. I’m not sure what her number is but I can find out…

    • By “small terrace life” I meant have things the way they used to be. It wasn’t a slight or a comment about the greatness of where I get to be (la di da) it’s that I’ve never talked to you in the city. It was a reference to things we all used to do together.

      • No offense meant!

        Yeah, the glories of partying in the bush. *LOL* Do you have moments where you never realized what a small-town girl you were till you left? Since the only place I ever lived was good ol’ Terrace, it seems to be quite apparent to all the new faces around me. Disquietingly so.

        Btw, if you want to check out how things are in the city… *gestures* Journal.

  6. see me you shall within the next 6 months.

    destination: burnaby
    reason: school, work, kim

    its too bad i didnt see you two on my birthday =\
    im coming down on the 9th of november so i guess we could do something, me,kimmi, you and shteeb.

  7. Whoa, down boy! I meant the entirely in-jest comment, because I don’t live in Terrace anymore. And I don’t consider my life or Kassi’s to be small. And even if it was meant in a serious way, she already explained what she meant. It’s all good.

    • Sorry, I took like you thought she was looking down on “small terrace.” I didn’t mean to sound harsh or anything…I was just trying to explain the situation as best as possible…I deleted the last post, cause I ddin’t notice the next one when I wrote it…I shoulda read ahead. Stoopid me.

      No hard feelings?

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