Can’t Sleep…

I’m less concerned about tomorrow. For now I’m scared about this moment, right now. This house is tense. It never seemed tense before. Jenny decided not to go to Alberta and came flying back the day after she left. She’s been trying to be on her own away from everyone else here ever since. She goes out a lot and expects to have her way.

I suppose for someone of her age who has never had rules, really, it’s easy for her to be that way. For me, I don’t understand how she doesn’t see that if the mess she leaves behind her started going away, so would the issues between her and her Mom. She’s a little like Katrina that way. At her age, she doesn’t see that her Mom setting rules for her is the way it’s supposed to be. They’re not retaliation, they’re a foundation for her to live in. She can’t keep staying up until 4am and sleeping for 12, 13 hours a day. It’s bad for her.

Debbie has threatened to send her back to public school next year, which I think is a great idea. Jenny is never going to develop a healthy schedule for a job. It’ll fuck with her system. That and I think she needs to learn that this world doesn’t bend for the individual. It’s not built that way.

I’m trying to stay away from the two of them when they’re together. It’s like vinegar and baking soda, just a bad combination. Debbie is actually quite tolerant. She’s a very nice person, and if Jenny pulled any of her wheight around here, I’m sure it would be a pretty fucking great place to be.

I just watched Black Hawk Down. I decided to watch it since Steve and I got into our little tiff about war inspired films. He saw Ferenheit 9/11 and I was trying to explain to him how difficult it is for me to sit down and dedicate two or more hours of my life to scarring myself emotionally. I’m truly effected by those kinds of movies.

I miss him. I can’t wait until he’s back. For now though, I’m going to bed. Exhaustion is catching up with me.

K

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~ by Kд§$ị (ИovΔ) on 07/02/2004.

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