My Head In A Vice Grip

So here it is. The intense abdominal pain I was experiencing turned out to be Cystitis (Urinary Tract Infection) (GOD knows where I got it from, I’m compulsive about staying very clean down there) and since I was misdiagnosed I ended up contracting Pyelonephritis (Kidney Infection). Fortunately I called someone in time, because the inflammation started yesterday. If I’d mistaken it for a back injury and continued on my way I could have ended up with renal failure. AHHH!

I can’t believe it. I am SO upset. I have a fever, I have the flu and I feel SO sick, I feel barfy on and off and my back hurts so much. At first the pain was so intense that it was flushing down to my knees, now it has settled into my kidneys. My back is very tender, and I can barely touch it without making a face.

I feel like shit. When I first started reading about Pyelonephritis it never said that only advanced or complicated cases result in renal failure. I’m like OMG! However, it does cause mild scarring of the kidneys. I’m in mourning.

I feel like shit, I want to cry, I miss my boyfriend, I want to fall asleep next to him just laying in his arms, I am SO lacking the comfort I need. I feel nervous and tired and GROSS and I just want to crawl into a grave and die there.



~ by Kд§$ị (ИovΔ) on 05/07/2004.

3 Responses to “My Head In A Vice Grip”

  1. Eep, one of my friends had that exact thing… Not a fun thing…

  2. The World DOESN’T Hate you

    As above, please know that the world doesn’t hate you. I am sorry to hear that you are struggling with this stuff. Was that the same stomach cramping that the doctor put you on Effexor for saying it was GAD? A lot of pharmaceuticals are hard on the kidneys – so check that out.

    At least you now know what’s going on with your body. UTIs are pretty common with women regardless of your hygiene. I had a girlfriend who could feel them coming on and would drink a whole litre of Cranberry Juice (the best cure in the world) to flush it out. I personally have never suffered with those. Mine have been the dreaded yeast. But I totally empathise.

    I am not sure if you are familiar with Louise Hay “You can heal your life” – she believes that all physical manifestations (illnesses) are directly related to emotional issues. I have experienced enough truth in this to knkow it. I looked up in her book what she says the emotional cause of Urinary infections are and it says:

    “Pissed off” usually at the opposite sex or a lover. Blaming others.

    She offers an affirmation to help change the thinking pattern that may have lead you to this place. If you are interested I can tell you. Kidney problems are related to criticism, disappointment and failure. Shame. Reacting like a little kid. (I’m just quoting the book here – I’m not saying that is the case). But maybe some of this will ring true for you.

    I always used to lose my voice and when I look that up it says, “So mad you can’t speak. Fear of speaking up. REsentment of authority.” I have to honestly say – it was right on the mark. Since I have recognized it and reconciled it, I haven’t lost my voice since.

    Just some interesting ways of looking at things. I am sorry you are feeling alone and unnurtured. Hug yourself and know that others out there do care.

    Rest easy.

    • I know

      Things just aren’t well. I don’t feel very wonderful. I’ve been drinking cranberry juice, tea and water up the wazoo and it doesn’t seem to make any difference, I just end up feeling sick by the end of the day because I have too much water in my stomach.

      As for emotional causes, yes, I have been upset at my boyfriend lately, and at myself… for a multitude of reasons we won’t dwell into. And also yes, this was the abdominal pain I was given Effexor for. I’m mildly comforted by the fact that it did cure my stress (for the most part), just not the pain that came with it.

      And I agree that illness can be brought on by an onslaught of emotion.


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