Why Are We Strangers When Our Love Is Strong?

Things are… things are complicated. I’m trying to live them out instead of making you read them, because I know how tedious that is. You’d rather hear that I dropped off the face of the Earth or DIED instead of having to read about me and my life anymore.

Unfortunately that’s why it’s called LIVEJOURNAL, and not the International House of Fake Internet Written Broadcasting. I’m not a TV show. I’m me. I’m not here for you to read about while you munch down salty popcorn and a coke. I’m not here to flick on while you drink coffee in the morning before you go to work. I’m just here.

Work is good. I love my shifts right now. They coincide with Steve’s and the people I’m scheduled with are the ones I like most. I’m increasingly happier than I was, but I’m still walking softly.

Lesley threatened to beat me. I’m not sure if anyone here knew that. The minute I find the courage to stand up to her and make her stop treating me like I’m a form of leprosy she threatens to kick the crap out of me. I’m beginning to see the reason why her last marriage was an abusive one. I’d be abusive too if I had to put up with this bullshit in a marriage. I’ve had enough (SO ENOUGH!) of pretending that I don’t matter just to put a sign of momentary satisfaction on her face. I could be the Queen of goddamn England and she wouldn’t care. I still wouldn’t mean anything. I don’t care anymore. I don’t want to spend the rest of my life being less than I know I am for such a leturous, mean, bullying cunt of a person.

I vow here and now not to follow her bullshit reasons because she wants me to play her little game. Her game sucks and I want out.

I’m staying over at Jenny’s again. I’m excited. 🙂 Steve and I are going to redecorate her room(s) for her. She’s moving between two houses and three rooms, so we promised to help her out. I love decorating. I can’t wait. ^_^” We’re also getting rid of her posters and junk for her, so I think we’re probably going to box all that stuff up and put it in with our garage sale stuff.

My Dad has an in with Hertz moving company so we may be able to get a moving truck for $50 solid, no mileage fee. 😀 *GRIN!*

TO MY LADIES: JEN AND NAT (HUGZ) see you on Wednesday!



~ by Kд§$ị (ИovΔ) on 03/21/2004.

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