So a lot has happened to me. I don’t know if that matters or not. Probably not. I’ve had a really hard last few days. I got really homesick. I missed my Dad. Leigh is really starting to worry about our situation and I feel like everything is beginning to spin out of control.

I stayed at Phil’s for a good week… and I began to see both sides. I think I finally understand where both Phil and his parents are coming from. (Phil… they’re right in a lot of ways… you’re just not seeing it…)

I felt independent for a change. I don’t really need much help when it comes to my life, but when I’m home I still feel bound. I never felt that at Phil’s. There were some issues to solve between Steve and I, and I’m not sure they’ll ever go away. I hate that you can’t trust me…

My car started having problems a few days ago. My car was overcharging. It was like there was static buildup. It blew half the lights in my car, I couldn’t drive it for more than 5 minutes and I couldn’t go faster than 50. I had my alternator replaced and it ended up costing me $368.75 which I get to pay back in installments. But it comes out of my permanent budget as a necessary deduction. My tax return will only just cover the repairs. So for the next month at least, all I can afford is my lunch and the gas for my car… then I’m looking at car insurance. Cars are sons of bitches.

The letter I wrote in Northwest Weekly got quite the response. A woman named Monica Lang called me and told me that Elizabeth Thompson is married to her ex-husband (Michael Thompson). Now she said that while she was married to Michael he hid his Catholic views from her, and refused to let her use contraception. When she tried, he’d beat her. Well, she was pregnant before she knew what happened so they married. When she got pregnant a second time, he left her. She gave birth to two autistic children, and Michael refused to pay her child support. He quit his job when the court subpoenaed him for $42,000 in child support so that he would have no money to pay her with. Elizabeth Thomspson has refused to help Monica take care of her children (since Elizabeth is the sole breadwinner in the family) and has been badmouthing Monica in the paper.
Elizabeth has been talking about “protecting the born” all the while allowing her husband to evade his responsibilities. Monica told me that had she known then that Michael would do this to her, she’d have had an abortion, which is why this paper debate began.

It was my Sister Katrina’s birthday to day. I feel like such an asshole for not being there when she turns 22. I miss her so much I can’t stand it. She’s my best friend in the whole world more than anyone else and I feel sometimes like I turned my back on her. She deserves so much more.

My Dad got sideswiped today, or maybe earlier. We can’t really figure out when. We thought Lesley ran into him but we were wrong. There’s $1,000 in damage to fix to his car.

I wish sometimes that I knew where I’d be if I’d taken the other road. This one has lots of twists and turns and hills and dead ends (speaking metaphorically). I always feel run down and everyone wonders why I’m tired. I feel like I’m paying a price.

I wish I could silence the war in my head that you don’t understand.



~ by Kд§$ị (ИovΔ) on 01/12/2004.

2 Responses to “Evils”

  1. It was about a week and a half 😛

    I know that they have their points, and I do see them. I think, for the most part, that they don’t see mine.
    They are always assuming things about me, but never try to find out the truth about things.

    But this is about you, and not me.

    Things do seem like you’re paying a price at times, and I’m not sure why that is. It jsut is.
    Maybe it’s some sort of devine plan, or maybe just the fact that this economey’s shit right now (which causes problems in every area of life)… I’m really not sure.

  2. I trust you completely.

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