Songs and a Link

So today not much is going on. Things are progressing. I feel a little pressured but I’m antsy. I’m going to begin my Christmas shopping soon. I don’t have much from a JOURNALIZING perspective to say, but I wrote some songs and thought I’d post them.

Don’t Hold On
Kassi Thomsen

(k. thomsen

There’s nothing but dark
in your cold, blind stare
There’s nothing but stars
in the stale air
Don’t mourn for me as I’m falling fast
I put myself in this place
and there’s no turning back

Just let me go
There’s nothing left
and don’t hold on
I’ll be at rest at last here’s the end

I have nothing to lose
but a lot to leave behind
It’s over and done and my life has been kind
We die and life goes on
and we cry and carry on
But I’m at the edge and I’m never looking back
So say goodbye, say goodbye


God kept me here too long
(I’m coming home)
Goddamn it I love you
Much more than you know



I wrote this after hearing about a jumper on a bridge. I kept wondering what the motive would be from my perspective if I ever found myself in the same situation and wrote it out on paper

Kassi Thomsen


Hello life
there’s horror behind these eyes
thank you house of lies
I hate you and I’m disgraced by you
I’m empty pieces of mindless thought
It’s a storm of words in here
It’s so loud so deafening (MAKE IT STOP!!)
Curse you, DAMN YOU for your blindness
(This is for the times you refused me kindness)

Paint a picture in my head
(Tear it down again- RIP IT OUT)
Make it all come to an end
(Don’t take me to this place again)
If I cried then you would die
(It’s a matter of some certainty)
and I hide it down inside of me!

All the times he showed my soul
his hand showed me hell
(hell hath no mercy)
and all the times you couldn’t tell
he broke me
he burned me alive
(Took 12 damn years to survive)
He took you all away from me
And you could not believe in me
(I’m forsaken)


Why was it so much easier
to invest in his lies
and why did you turn away from me
I’m nothing
I’m condemned



I wrote this song twice. This song doesn’t speak to me the way it did the first time I wrote it. I lost the original copy and had to rewrite it or it would just eat me alive. This addresses the 12 years I had to deal with an unconvicted sexual assault. The case has been closed with no charges laid, and the cops expect me to be okay with it. As far as I’m concerned they made me a victim 3 times over. I will post again specifically on this topic.

Here is my link to my newly wonderfully uploaded website: Chupachica: Serendipity. It isn’t complete so there are massive sections missing (fiction and articles mostly) but the DVD reviews are up. Take a gander. Leave suggestions.


~ by Kд§$ị (ИovΔ) on 12/03/2003.

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