Final Decision

Monday: 4pm-11pm
Tuesday: 5pm-11pm
Friday: 4:30pm-10:30pm
Saturday: 4pm-11pm
Sunday: 4pm-10:30pm

I’ve deliberated. I’ve talked to someone, who by the way has the wisdom and life experience to know how to deal with this situation. I refuse to DEAL with this anymore. I won’t. I’m not going to handle you anymore. If you don’t want to read my journal, fine… that’s your prerogative.

This is my livejournal, and I write my feelings here. They’re not personal attacks on any of you, they’re just feelings. I do deal with my problems. This is my place to put my problems, and I just leave them here and move on. If you think I’m depressed 24/7 you really don’t know anything about me. I’ve tried making peace with you, and as far as I’m concerned, I didn’t have to justify my feelings to you. But you don’t listen, and it isn’t my job to make you hear me.

I don’t expect you to have answers. I don’t expect you to read my journal. This isn’t a reality TV show where I’m fighting for ratings. This isn’t a competition. If you don’t like my whining then don’t read it. You choose to read what I write… and that is completely up to you. If you don’t want to hear from me, take me off your friends page.

I’m not doing this anymore. Any further rude and vicious comments on my journal and that will be the LAST time that you get to do so. I guarantee it. I can accept positive criticism because I am willing to accept it and to even consider it. But I’m getting personal attacks, not just on myself but on friends. My “vanilla” friends.

Its not going to happen again. I don’t owe you anything. Not an explanation, not an apology. If you don’t want to be my friend any further… so be it. I’m not handling you anymore. You’ve shown complete inability to move on from this (and fuck if I know how it even started) and furthermore, complete inability to contact me in any way shape or form outside of this journal. I’ve been criticized for not calling you, but truth be told, I’ve made many an un replied phone call, and I won’t do it anymore.

I think this whole thing is ridiculously overblown and petty, but they’re MY feelings, and I’m not going to step around what you want from me. I deal with my problems. I am quite a pleasant person WHEN I AM ACTUALLY THERE. But I suppose that never occurred to anyone. That’s not my problem, and I refuse to feel like it is. I am not going to take any further burdens onto myself that are unnecessary. This is one of them.



~ by Kд§$ị (ИovΔ) on 08/24/2003.

2 Responses to “Final Decision”

  1. a comment from me to you……..

    hmmm, I’ve backed out of commenting on this subject earlier because I didn’t have/know really what to say.
    This comment isn’t ment to be an attack so I’m sorry if it comes arcoss like that.
    What I’m getting out of your posts are.
    -you feel that because people insulted you/critized you, you feel that you’re not good enough and are reluctant to change.
    -you don’t want to be attacked every time you post something about your problems.
    -you have financal trouble and aren’t sure what to do.
    -you feel that people don’t understand that the world is a harsh place and that is why they give you such a hard time when they tell you to cool it.

  2. more of a comment from me to you……..

    Kassi, I know that it’s not your job to make the world seem like sunshine and rainbows, I realize and know that the world isn’t that. I also know that you have problems (everyone has problems). Seeing that it’s your journal you’re aloud to post whatever you want. Saying that, however you can’t expect people to feel sorry for you, or be concerned everytime you post something about how harsh your life is. People get tired of telling someone how sorry they are that their life is shit or they just don’t know what to say/do (that might be why people seem to “not care”). By reading your journal you come across to be a fairly negitive person, maybe that’s just because that’s what you write about in your journal, but it’s does get hard to read after a while. You can be a really sweet person but you have to realize, along with everyone else, that while you’re trying to cope with your problems others are trying to cope with theirs. Maybe they aren’t as bad as yours or maybe they just don’t post them.
    This whole thing was blown out of proportion, starting with people going to the lake without tell you they were going to be there (which I can see you being offened by, but it wasn’t really your crowd to start with it was a ton of prince rupert people plus Barry who just happened to be walking in the right place at the right time or something). I’m not going to say people are right and people are wrong cause I don’t really care. I just wanted to say that sometimes it’s good to chill and just lay back, look on the bright side, realize that it’s okay if people doesn’t want to be your friend. People change, grow, move on. “Shit happens”. Everyone has/gets shit in their life, it’s the good that keeps them going strong. Hell my parents went through a divoce this year it wasn’t like that wasn’t hard to deal with. I’m not attacking you, or saying “you should pay more attenion to other people and their problems” I’m just saying that, write what you want on your journal, but when it comes to other peoples journals, compare but don’t over share.
    Also, when people insult you, or tell you what they think of you, no matter as much as it might hurt maybe they’re just trying to help or are so fusterated about something it’s the only thing to say. You got to look at that and think “are they just being an asshole or was there good reasoning behind it”, because not all comments are bad, just because you happen to disagree with what someone may think of you doesn’t mean it doesn’t desevre a good thinking about. Again, that wasn’t a “change because you’re not who I want you to be” that was a “before you go saying that we ‘want you to change’ think about the reasoning that might come behind the comment”. I’m not saying that I don’t need to work on a few or a lot of things myself. I know that no one isn’t perfect, I’m a prime example.
    It’s not your job to make people like you, or want to be with you, it’s just your job to seem aprochable.
    This comment was for everyone just posted with your stuff because I wanted it to go to you. I’m really happy that you have a job that looks like it’s going to last and a relationship that is going seemingly well from here. It’s too bad that your family life isn’t sunshine and lollies. I think a few of us can relate to abusive parents, emotional mostly. And you’re in financal trouble, a few of us can tell a few campfire tales of no money aswell. I’m just trying to show that you’re not the only one out there with your problems (which I know you know). I’m sure there are a few people that could relate to what you go through, maybe some people you’d never think of.
    anyways, I just felt like saying all of that. Like I said before it’s more of a post for everyone, but it’s addressed to you.

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