This Needs To Be Said

Okay, I wasn’t trying to generalize, here. My last post was kind-of a wake up call to people, because in fact, I have gone into town to spend time with people without having them ask me to do things first. I met Lindsay for lunch- spur of the moment. I just showed up. She was really flattered that I asked. I also show up at Barry’s unannounced. They don’t ask me to come over. I know that I’m welcome. However I know that the bulk of the time they are not previously committed.

I’m supposed to move in with Jessica and Stewart. I’m not taking you guys coming out here as a slight. I’ve had other friends do the same thing to me over this last weekend, and decide that I’m too busy to go without even asking first.

Also, I JUST got a job, and yes, I do have a car. I could have driven MYSELF. I’m not asking for rides all over the place, you know. I haven’t even worked yet. I have a job because I spent the entire summer looking for one. I haven’t been to one party this summer because I was too busy trying to support myself.

In case any of you hadn’t heard, in a week I’m being booted out of my house, and I don’t have anywhere to go. People are talking about putting me up in homeless shelters. Thats not the only problem in my life, and I’m not asking you to make my world a happier place. I’m asking you to be a part of it. To tell you the truth, I have tried calling some of you and you’re never home. I’ve left comments on journals, so don’t tell me I’m the one not doing anything about it because I have.

I’ve asked people “give me a call when you’re free” and no one has called. Today was the first day I’ve done anything job-oriented and I was only there for an hour.

As for you, Eric, you were the one who made it sound like I was throwing a small stage production of “days of our lives.” I was a little miffed that I live within a 5 minute walk of the lake and there are constantly people coming out here that never come and talk to me. I don’t know about you, but I live with abusive parents, and intrusive showings up out of nowhere are completely welcome to me.

I’m not asking for special treatment. I’m also not asking you to betray your friendships. But don’t make less of my situation because that is NOT fair. I don’t deserve that. Not from you, not from anybody. I’ve gone way out of my way to try and solve my problems, but according to the Canadian Government (who I’ve spoken with, thanks) have told me I’m literally fucked and there’s nothing major I can do about it.

All I would like is the pleasure of your company, and personally if you can find the time to corall people in the supermarket, I shouldn’t be horrendously difficult to get ahold of. Since I am now officially working, and I seem to have to do all the work… for everything ever in the history of anything, I’m not gonna bother. I swear to God it takes a miracle to just get me out of bed in the morning.

Effort swings both ways. I didn’t feel offended that you didn’t automatically think of me, I’m not that egotistical. It just got annoying after the fiftieth announcement I’ve recieved of a lake gathering I haven’t been invited to (ones concerning my friends).

=*K

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~ by Kд§$ị (ИovΔ) on 08/13/2003.

3 Responses to “This Needs To Be Said”

  1. Nonono

    I wasn’t the one who made it seem like a big production, you did.

    “I’m locked up.” “I’m alone” I just commented on things.

    And as for people going out to the lake, “fifty” times, and not contacting you… well then maybe this is where you take the subtle hint and realise that: Hey! Maybe they don’t want to hang out with you.
    And not calling you, these are little signs that maybe people don’t want your company.
    Harsh as it sounds it may be true.

    And as for your parent’s… I’m sorry, my biological father was abusive, but I dealt with that I don’t see him anymore and I sure as hell ain’t asking for an auto-biography.

    • Re: Nonono

      Humm… Looks like someone’s now on the defencive…

      Not really my place to say much, but it seems that you are picking away at the little details of what she said, and not dealing with the gist of it. It may not have been fifty times, but when you’re bored out of your skull, it can seem that way.

      As per auto-biography, this is far from. I’ve read most of her auto-biography and what she says in here doesn’t come anywhere close to the shit she has been through and is going through.

      • Re: Nonono

        This doesn’t have anything to do with you Phil, I got nothing against you…

        Kassi is a big girl, let her defend herself.

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