Please remember…

Things have been tense… and its all my fault. I can’t stay blameless my whole life… and the people I care about are not racks to place my burdens on. I know that, and I feel like that is all I have been doing. I am just so tired of THIS being my life. I feel like I’m never going to amount to anything, and I guess I’m not ready to accept that.

Steve and I had a confrontation. I’m not gonna pass out details because we survived it. It really opened my eyes, but in a way I’m not sure he really sees things the way they are. I think he’s just trying his best to make a positive out of everything because he is so busy he can’t think straight. I really feel sorry for him. He never gets a day where he can just sit back and do NOTHING. I really wish I could give him that. What can I say? The man is a machine.

I’ve been so busy just trying to keep the pieces of my life together that I kind-of forgot what I let everything fall apart for. I’ve been getting angry and offended for no reason and I can’t rationalize it in hindsight. I put my entire life on hold to be here for Steve, and I’m so afraid that I’m letting everything fall to shit and he’s going to leave me behind. They’re stupid paranoid notions, but they’re mine, you know?

Well my last interview went well. I felt like I was pancaking myself at Mr. Campbell’s feet to give me the job, and I kind-of think he noticed that. But he was very positive about the interview. I’m still waiting to hear back from him.

I hope I get back on the internet soon, at home. I’ve been just insane not being able to update and to find comfort in my friends. I miss you guys.



~ by Kд§$ị (ИovΔ) on 08/01/2003.

3 Responses to “Please remember…”

  1. Always here for ya. Expect a phone call 😛

  2. I hope you end up getting the job. *hugz* Sorry to hear you are going through such a tough time. Hopefully things will fall into place soon.

  3. *Huggles* You’re one of the only people I WANT to remember from Terrace.

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