Save Tonight

So here I go, out into the world like a flowerbud into the sunlight. I’ve been finding myself my whole life, limb by limb. I realize now that everything you obtain on that journey has its time and eventually that time passes. I’m letting some things go, and it hasn’t been easy for me. I regard things as precious: people, memories, moments, notes, songs… everything that holds meaning to me emotionally has been saved and I realize its not the item or the person its the memory I cherish.

My Mom decided to get married without telling me or inviting me. She also plans to move away somewhere inconvenient for me. She never intended to give me the chance to live with them again, nor did she intend to give me a stable place to land. I’m rearranging my furnature and redecorating… throwing out boxes of my life and allowing room for new things to come my way.

I’m in love. I count myself so lucky to finally have that. And I’ve learned that Steve fears losing me as much as I fear losing him. I’ve never had anything so wonderful in all my life, and he’s all I ever want. Its hard letting go of hopes and dreams of having my family close together and surrounding me. I know I’ll never have that from them. But I can still hope that someday Steve and I say I do and have our own family. That is my dream.

You are my dream, Steven. I love you.



~ by Kд§$ị (ИovΔ) on 01/01/2003.

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