Tears for 9/11…

I woke up this morning in dread. September 11th. Oh God. Today will never be the same. My friend Chad taught me so many things. “Never give up on your dreams.” she told me… and I never did. She was there for me when I needed her, and I was there for her when she needed me. I was there when she Graduated. I was so proud of her. I was there for her when the company she worked for downsized and she was fired. It was I that encouraged her to continue to look for a way to make ends meet. I was there when she got the opportunity of a lifetime… and I was the one who was there when the opportunity killed her.

I watched in horror as the World Trade Center crashed down to the ground with Chad inside it. I watched as the two towers crumbled apart, taking a part of me with it. I couldn’t cry for her– I tried– but it was as if I’d forgotten how. I sent her a letter and prayed to God that she’d been late for work that day, praying that she hadn’t been there. She never got my letter, and she’ll never write me back.

Its been a year and two days, to the day, since I heard from my friend Chad. My sweet friend Chad. She used to call me her prodigy. Now all I have left of her is a memory. Now I’ll never get to say goodbye. I’ll miss you, Chad.

Rest In Peace

Moving on. *Clears tears from eyes* Steve is home! I have never been so happy that he is home in all my life… I really need him here today. Dealing with the memory of 9/11 is really hard for me.

I walked into the school, and Lis egged me to open my locker. I didn’t understand, and she was kind-of scaring me. I was really morose, so she kinda startled me. Anyway, I opened my locker, and taped up inside was a picture of a rose, and a really sweet poem. When I finished reading it, Steve jumped out from beside my locker. It was the best surprise I ever got. I was so happy to see him. Man… if I didn’t feel bad about it, I would have skipped school. Heh. Not that I don’t have a good reason not to be here. Its twice as hard to concentrate now. I am so in love with him. “If I could say what I want to say, I’d say I wanna blow you away, be with you every night, am I squeezing you too tight? If I could see what I want to see, I’d wanna see you down on one knee, marry me today, yes I’m wishing my life away, with these things I’ll never say.”

I want to leave… I want out right now. Man, when I was sitting in the caff with Steve I started to cry. Thats why I’m wearing BLACK today. I’m grieving. She really was an amazing person. I miss her so much. I wish I could tell her how much of an impact she left on me.

Anyway… I do have work to do… as much as there is a lot that I want to say… I should go. Steve, read my last entry. I love you.


~ by Kд§$ị (ИovΔ) on 09/11/2002.

One Response to “Tears for 9/11…”

  1. Sympathies

    I’m so sorry for your loss, Kassi. Such a horrible tragedy affects everyone, and it saddens me that it had to affect you on such a personal, close-to-home level. You have my sympathies.
    Wasn’t that a bitching Writing class? So eloquent and well-worded!
    I’m glad that Steve’s back for you 😉 See how hard it is? *L* Now imagine that amount of time… and multiply it by however much it is that I have to live with 😉 *giggle* Kidding… anyways… tty tomorrow!

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